Just a Few Random Thoughts...

~Today is 4/20. Never been one to prefer smoking weed over booze and, let's be serious, if you're over the age of, say, 21, is there really a need to dedicate a day to the "holiday"? I shouldn't throw stones tho, being that I do enjoy a few (dozen) couple of beers here and there, but still.

~I'm wearing leggings as pants today. Some people have an issue with that: they don't consider leggings as "pants". I don't give a crap, especially if I wear a long shirt to cover my ass.

~Beer bottles make me all warm and fuzzy inside. No explanation needed. ;)

~Tonight I'm choosing to go to the wake of a former preschool student of mine's father who passed away unexpectedly. She is only in kindergarten and has a toddler-aged brother as well. Their mother is one of the sweetest mothers I came in contact with in the 6 years I worked at that school. All the support she gave me while I was going to school while working there as well as encouragement to leave and begin a new career was incomparable. Although I didn't see the father as much as I did my student's mother, the times I was in contact with him were some of the sweetest, most loving interactions between him and his daughter. The way she led him around the classroom, showing him her projects hanging on the wall, was enough to make you stop and appreciate the closeness the two of them shared. Being so close to my dad, and having him deal with some serious health issues a few years back, this entire situation has had me, yet again, put life in perspective. And I'll leave you with this: live your life like today is your last. You don't know when it will be taken from you.

Cali, AC, and Me

I don't have too much to report on. Things in my life are quite calm at the moment. I'm back from my trip to California and simply had an amazing time with the other half to my "Pea in a Pod". She was a great hostest, shopping buddy, tattoo/piercing partner, and the best tour guide I could ask for. We traveled as far north as Cambria to see hundreds of elephant seals lounging on the beach, all the way down to Santa Barbara where we shopped on State Street, had lunch on Stearns Wharf, and walked a farmers market.

I mean, let's be serious. I went across the country to see one of my best girlfriends. It wasn't all PG-rated sight-seeing. We partied HARD. Tried some new shots (cactus cooler, ninja turtle), drank a shit ton of beers, had a happy hour with margaritas on the cliffs above the ocean in Shell Beach, and drank on the day of my flight back home til I had to leave to go to the airport. Between being up early for my flight the morning I left, the time change, and the late night out at the bar, I was up for over 24 hours my first day on the West Coast. Oh, and within four hours of landing, I got a new tattoo... followed by the "you went 3,000 miles to get a tattoo of the state of New Jersey?" comments. Yep! I sure did. And I'm absolutely in love with it.

After the worst red-eye flight experience ever (middle seat, 32nd row, and a minor cold), I had two days to lay low, and then hit the road Friday night to head down to Margate, just south of Atlantic City, with my longest friend, who owns a beach house, and best friend. We like to call this our "escape from reality" weekend where we sleep, watch QVC, and have a low-key night in AC, going out to dinner and playing some penny slots.

Not much exciting is going on in the boy department, but this is quite the relief. I parted ways with the boy I had met through my friend, as he was a bit too clingy while I was on vacation and just wanted too much, too soon. He's a great guy, but not the guy for me. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the time I have for myself, my friends, and my family. Between working out, wedding planning with my sister, and just the normal day-to-day activities, I'm loving my slow-paced life. Generally, I'm a very giving and selfLESS person, but I must say that I'm REALLY enjoying not having to be concerned with someone else's schedule, issues, and shuffling my life around to be with him. Call me self-centered, but that's exactly what life is about: ME! Although, sometimes, my friends beg to differ ;)

C U Next Thursday

Teehee ;)

Quick (and i mean, QUICK) recap of life before I head off to California for a much needed and deserved vacation.

-Officially off all the dating sites. I've been on and off a couple of them since the summer and need a break. Had some great experiences, some horrible experiences, and some definite great conversation-starter experiences. Now it's time do just let things happen the natural way.

-... and speaking of... a friend of mine set me up with a long-time friend of hers. We've been out on two dates and he seems like a genuinely nice guy (although, we've seen where that leads me a few times in the past). We have plans to hang out when I get back from vacation and he's eager to make plans for things in the next couple of months. I'm working on going slow, getting to know each other, and enjoying this part of our friendship. Time will tell what he has to offer, but at least he comes with a respectable recommendation. That can be the best and worst of being hooked up with a friend of a friend: great if it works out, but someone can be hurt or pissed if it doesn't. Hope for the best, expect the worst.

-My sister's wedding plans are going so well. We chose a makeup artist and need to choose the hairdresser. The part I'm looking forward to most is having our ENTIRE family back in Jersey at the same time. This hasn't happened in over 20 years? It's a big deal and family always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside :)

That's really about it. Work is good, the family I'm watching are on vacation this week too, so I have a paid week off and I'm less than 24 hours from hopping on the plane and heading across the country for the first time. My homegirl from Rowan University is out there, impatiently awaiting my arrival.

Plans for the week include, but not limited to:
-celebrating a buddy of hers' birthday Saturday night
-recooping Sunday
-beach, tanning (my fave!), sunsets, lounging
-bike rides up the coast
-Santa Barbara day (and possibly over-night) trip
-nose piercings (for her - mine is already pierced. she's waiting for me to get there to do it!) and tattoos (I'm thinking getting a Jersey-esque piece of art somewhere on my foot...)

Deuces, East Coast!

Back to "Doin' Me"

Let's just say that from Friday evening until noon on Saturday, my perspective on how things were going with IT changed dramatically...

Long of the short (so I can move on and talk about other things): Friday night things were as great as the usually are. He was at the Knicks game with a friend, told me to text him because he likes "taking my phone out of my pocket and seeing that you're thinking of me". Before the game, he sent me a quick video clip of him singing Katy Perry & Kanye's version of "ET" - our new favorite song that we've been quoting for a week.

Saturday, he calls and we have the talk we were supposed to have next time we saw each other. Basically, he really likes me, things are so natural when we're together, but it's going so fast so quick. He's "not an asshole" and would feel like he's cheating on me when he goes on other dates and doesn't want to lie to me when he does. I think he's chicken shit to settle down so soon after getting out of the 10year relationship he ended in October. I completely understand that; I don't want him to have regrets on moving too fast or feeling like he's missed out on being single for the first time since he was in his teens. Do I think he's a coward for not going with his gut on how he feels about me? YES. But there's nothing I can do about it, and we ended it by saying we're completely done talking to each other. Honestly, I'd rather not talk to him at all than have such restrictions on not hanging out or only talking once in a while.

So, for the time being, he's doing his thing and I'm doing mine - how it was before we started talking. I noticed last night that he deactivated his PoF account. I panicked briefly, just because I don't know if that means he is, in fact, dating someone else, just decided to do the single thing for a while, or countless other ideas. But, like with any of his other actions and decisions for ending our "relationship", there's not a thing I can do. Maybe we'll catch up sometime down the road, of which a few friends have quoted saying "He will most definitely be back". If he does, great. If not, whatever. I'm a big girl. I've been hurt before, and this will definitely not be the last time, I'm sure. It's just not my time yet to meet the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with... and I'm ok with that.

So, I've embraced it and have started moving on, continuing to talk to a couple guys that I had been emailing back and forth with the last two weeks or so.

The Cop, who I mentioned on twitter last week, has the same name as IT as well as being the same height. But he works in IT's town that he teaches. Currently, he's not working, as he slipped on ice a few weeks back, and is resting until he's strong enough to get back to his job. He's coming out to see me and we are going out to sushi one night this week.

Another guy messaged me, same age and from the same area as IT (WTF!!! really? I've never talked to anyone from Staten Island and now they're coming out of the woodwork, looking for me!) and works in the city in the Financial District. Poor kid, who's just about my age, lost both parents by the time he was 15 and then his grandparents have passed over the last couple of years. He said in the chat "but im not bitter - i love families". He's an only child, has his own studio apartment, and a little dog. We haven't picked a day to go out yet, but he seems pretty genuine so far.

On another, very exciting note, in less than TWO WEEKS, I'll be in CALIFORNIA... For the first time ever, Dimps will be setting off for her first cross-country flight to visit my homegirl on the Golden Coast. I'm excited to hang out with her friends she's met out there, maybe do a little flirting, and, as per my one friend Kim mentioned, I'll most likely find my soul mate there and have to move there and never come home. Ok, so the last is probably a bit far-fetched, but, hey, a girl can dream.

(I'd like to give a few friends shoutouts for the extra special TLC they've given me this weekend: CF, KT, HJ, AM - thanks for all the advice, you guys. love you!!)

Note to Self: Don't Call Beth Fat

Just a quick, unrelated note on what NOT to send someone on PlentyofFish.

Let me say that I just LOVE unsolicited advice from men on PoF. Just got this gem: "Maybe try putting the drink down and try picking up a celery stick or soemthing"

Well let me tell you... I am not a very thin-skinned sissy girl who takes offense to most things. But when you come out of nowhere to come across a woman's profile and actually go through the hassle to send her a message commenting on her weight, you must not have anything else better to do with you life, and are clearly on a dating site for that reason.

With the help from a witty chick (@MissMegasaurus) I met through Twitter and a friend, we drafted this to send to him.

"Thank you so much for your email, it truly is an honor to receive such a thoughtful comment from Jesus himself. See, I now know that my issue with the numerous men who email me on this website is not because I'm a curvy, full-figured, very blessed in the important region, kind of woman who thoroughly enjoys life and all it has to offer, but rather it's because I choose to live my life to the fullest rather than to starve myself for men who care only about image.

This is actually quite humorous, coming from a guy who, through an email, points out how superficial he is; yet, looks as though he hasn't gotten a haircut or a shower since the day people realized Michael Jackson was no longer white. I'd love to see the kind of emails you receive; do they have teeth? do they have a personality? I'm sure with all of the malnurishment it's hard to hold a conversation with some of the lovely ladies you chose to correspond with.

Truth be told, this website and you are a joke. You will be one of the many that I broadcast to the world on how pathetic you are. Maybe you should change your profession from "Trainer" to "Self-absorbed asshole" and then book an appointment with "Cuts 4 U". Wish you all the best.

Normally I wouldn't take the time to even waste my time on you, but since you did the same for me, I figured I'd shoot you some unsolicited advice myself. Enjoy your day, JC."

And no, normally I wouldn't waste my time on him, but there comes a point where a girl just has to stand up for herself. I'll keep you all updated if the fucktard responds.

Now... I have a burrito to finish. Fucker.

Who Said Movies Don't Make Good Dates?

After a nutty weekend of celebrating St. Patrick's Day plus one birthday (two nights in a row), and a wild night in AC with nine other girls, my liver only came out slightly bruised. IT and I had planned to have date #3 Sunday after I had gotten back into town. We text on my ride home, finalizing plans: he would come out to see me around 5pm and we were going to see the movie Hall Pass.

He comes to scoop me up and we head up to the movie theater a couple towns away. I would have taken him to the one in my town, but the one we went to has the arm rests that go up (easier for being cozy), it's cleaner, and better all around quality. On the drive up there he says, "So it's been over a week since I've seen you... I don't like that." That was all I needed to hear. I hadn't thought those exact words, but I was glad that we had these plans. We've seen each other once a weekend since we started talking.

Get to the movies, make out a bit, then head inside. Not sure if he didn't hear me, or was choosing to ignore me, but I had said that if he gets the tickets, I'll get the popcorn and drinks. As we waited on line, we discussed our drink choices and my love for movie theater popcorn. Before we decided to go for separate drinks, I joked that we'd have to share a straw if we only got one, to which he replied, "yeah, gross... I wouldn't want to share germs like that". (After our make out sesh in the car, that was the last thing on our mind.) So I went for Diet Coke while he chose Cherry Coke. When I offered to pay, he was dumbfounded and downright refused to let me pay. Such a gentleman! Walking into the theater, he leaned the popcorn bag over to me so I could snag a piece with my tongue and I mentioned how I loooooove Cherry Coke and so then, each time he took a sip, he leaned the cup over to let me have some.

As we were waiting for the trailers to start, I noted that this was obviously a date night for everyone in our theater: everyone there was paired off with their significant other. Then he says, "Ok, so give me a kiss" and leaned over to plant one on me. :) The movie was decent, and we snuck in a few comments here and there regarding the plot. We cuddled into each other, he draped my leg over his, and enjoyed our first movie together. Afterwards, we had some quality time back in his truck, talking and whatnot before he dropped me off.

Yesterday, we text in the morning and didn't talk again til late at night. He had a wake to go to and doesn't have as much freedom to text during the day as I do, so I figured he'd shoot me a text whenever he could. When he did text me, he said he was surprised he hadn't heard from me, he had had a busy day, and would text me when he was home in about 45 minutes... and then he called me about 15 minutes later :)

Today was normal, he called me after work and we had some laughs about some of the highlights from Sunday's movie date. He said to me, "I don't like popcorn. I only eat it when I'm sharing it with someone I really like. And I NEVER share my cherry coke." Apparently I was a lucky girl! We got off the phone and then I went for a nice long 3mile walk with two of my girlfriends. Got home, unwinded, and I signed onto PoF to read the emails I had received earlier. Not even two minutes after being logged on, the chat notification pops onto my screen... He was on and wanted to let me know it.

IT: GET OFFFF!!!
me: you GET OFFFF!!!
IT: I CAME ON TO SEE IF YOU WERE ON!!!
IT: AND YOU ARE!!!
IT: GET OFF!!!
me: lol
me: you were on when i signed on
me: why don't we both just get rid of it? ;)
IT: If you were ready to get rid of it, you would have
me: i've been ready. but how else can i keep an eye on you?
me: thought you wanted to keep your options open
IT: You're not on here to keep an eye on me... But yea, options have to stay open for now
IT: We'll talk about it next time we are together...
IT: Cause things are definitely moving faster than I would have liked, but I am so into you...
me: yeah, not really a convo i'd have over the computer.
me: and no, i don't keep an eye on you, but i was keeping my options open also.
me: cause thats what you wanted
IT: I know, we'll have the serious convo next time we hang. For now, just tell me how I let you drink half my cherry coke
me: lol
me: ok, dinner's ready.
me: i'll try ya later
IT: bye ma

After dinner, I gave him a call, none of the convo that we just had came up, but it wasn't awkward in the slightest. He even initiated planning the 4th date with, "When can I see you next?". After juggling our schedules the next couple days, tomorrow is the only day that works. We're going to either go bowling, play pool, or shoot some darts. The competitiveness in me is looking forward to it, but I confessed to him that I have no actual skill at any of these adventures, I just happen to get lucky once in a while... but when I suck at something, I get pissed. It should be a good time though. I'm looking forward to our conversation he wants to have in person - and am going to do my best to not over-analyze it or try to guess what he's going to say.

Any words of advice? Suggestions? And most importantly... What should I wear?!? :)

Caution: Spicy Food Causes Runny Noses... and 3rd Dates

So... after me and IT's awesome first date, Sunday we text all day and talked about how much fun we had, how easy it is to be around each other, how comfortable we feel just lounging on a couch together... And then he used the words that hurt no matter how invested anyone is in any kind of relationship: "keep my options open". He thinks its silly for him to jump into a relationship so soon after ending his last. I agree with him: I don't want to be the rebound girl. But I also think that if things are going right, and both people feel such a strong connection, then why not explore what could come of it. Don't get me wrong... I am not looking to rush into anything myself. Yes, I know that we had only been talking a week. Yes, I know we barely know each other. Yes, I know we only hung out once. But am I completely open to the idea of not making anything "official" as we learn more about each other without dating anyone else? Definitely. (and for the record, of all the dates I've been on, I haven't felt this way AT ALL.) However, after hearing him say that he wants to explore other avenues, I played it cool and told him, "That's fine. As long as you know that I'll be doing the same... And I'm the best that's out there, so good luck finding someone better ;)"

So with that said, we both agreed to take it slow and see what happens. Aka, nothing has changed in our conversations and he eagerly planned a date with me for last Friday. We both said how much we were looking forward to seeing each other again. He came to me this time around and took me out to dinner... And the best part: he INSISTED on coming to get me at my house. He said it would be silly to bring two cars to dinner. (Double bonus points were just earned between coming to my town AND picking me up.) Also, as we were discussing where to go, I gave some suggestions and he said he felt bad that it's HIS job to plan the date and he doesn't know the area. So we narrowed it down to cuisine and I mentioned something about the two Thai places we were deciding on. He ultimately chose the one I hadn't been to and offered to pick up a bottle of white (for me) and a bottle of red (for himself) on his way.

Mom must have asked about 145 times that week if she was going to meet him. I wasn't sure the answer until he was literally 20 minutes away when I text him what his feelings were on the matter. He said, "Unless your dad wants to meet who's taking his little girl out, I'm not quite ready to meet the family. Is that ok?" My response: "OF COURSE!!!" There was no way in hell that I'd want him to walk into my house with both dogs barking, Mom, Dad, sister, her fiance, brother, and his girlfriend sprawled out throughout the living room eating dinner. That was wayyyyyy too intense. When I made it clear to my family that they were all to stay inside, future brother-in-law said he needed to get something from my sister's car and brother made some comment about a night stick he had laying around. Mom just pouted in the corner while Dad told her to back off. Sister and bro's girlfriend were content, sitting back on the couch, probably knowing that they'd wind up being the first to meet him anyways.

So off we went (without any shadows lurking in the windows... that I could see) and had a fabulous time. But before we get into the date details, can I say that I tried to be a little extra girly and rocked my 4" black peep-toe heels? I never wear them because a) I'm clumsy, b) I walk like I have a stick up my ass, c) I'm clumsy, and d) I WILL fall down. But he's 6'3" and I have SIX whole inches to play with there. So I wore them... And almost busted ass walking down the DRIVEWAY. He held my hand on the walk to the restaurant... out of sympathy, I think.
IT: "I feel bad. Did you wear heels because I said I was wearing a button-down?"
Me: "No, I wore them to be cute. How's it working out for me?"
IT: "Let me hold your hand. It looks like it's your first time wearing them."

... or something like that.

Get to the restaurant, sit down, can't stop talking and flirting with each other, and the waitress has to come back twice to see if we're ready to order. We order the Thai sampler (have no idea what's in it) and our meals. For dinner I get the Pad King with chicken, medium spice. IT gets the duck special with kiwi. When the appetizer comes, he decides we should name all the mysterious foods after the Americanized version of what they look like: pigs in a blanket, rice krispie treats with a shrimp on top, empanadas, and sausage. Dipping sauces: honey and skippy peanut butter. I love how fun and random he is!

(*FYI, I was warned by my sister and her fiance that "medium" spice at this restaurant = SUPER, DUPER SPICY. I told them they were weenies and IdowhatIwant.) Then dinner came... Yeah, my mouth was on fire. I loved it, but when your nose is running on a 2nd date, you're not quite sure if the 3rd will even happen. Luckily, IT loved the duck so much that he gave me a warning that if we were out again and duck was on the menu, he'd be ordering it. (Guess that 3rd date is looking pretty promising, even with snot dripping down my face.)

Conversation was flowing so was the wine. We talked about so much and at no point did I feel uncomfortable or that we were lacking in conversation. Our sense of humor is so similar: dry and witty, and we're just SUCH ball-busters that we play so well off each other. IT even quoted me from some text I sent him that day and told me that I really do make him laugh. He pulled out his phone, scrolled up in our messages to the text he was referring to, and the biggest, genuine, most adorable smile popped up as he laughed at what I wrote.

After we had dessert, we narrowed down our choices for post-date activities (me going home wasn't an option) and decided on heading to meet up with a friend of mine when she told me that she and her date were going to be at the local hotel bar around the corner. We left the restaurant, me clutching onto his arm for the first 100 feet before I decided to go barefoot and walk much more normally.

...Aaaaaaand fast forward to 2:30am when IT dropped me off. I was tired, semi-buzzed, smiling, and knew I had to be up early for the St. Patrick's Day parade in a matter of hours.

So here we are, Thursday, almost a week after our 2nd date. As the week goes on, things are still going strong. I have even gotten some messages that have caught me off guard, in a good way:
~Monday night, right before bed, about 10 minutes after he had already said goodnight: "Btw, I like u. A lot. Bye!!!!"

~This one came at bedtime on Tuesday. Earlier, I asked him if he'd be interested in hitting the bar one night to drink some beers, eat some wings, and spend some time teaching me about the ins & outs on basketball, specifically the Knicks, his favorite team: "As if I wasn't attracted to you enough. Sweet god. Yes!" And then he said goodnight with this message: "I like you a lot. Even more than yest. Nighty"

~Then this one was yesterday when we were both signed onto Plenty of Fish at the same time:
IT: "you might as well sign off PoF. Not gonna find anyone better than me sweetness."
Me: "I already told you I'm the best, but hey. I'll let you figure that out."
IT: "I have a pretty good feeling ur right ;)"

~And then today, minutes after we both get done with work, my phone rings:
Me: "Heyyyyy you"
IT: "This isn't good. You have me thinking about you as I wait for you to text me back in the mornings. Then I think about you all day at work and can't wait to call you as soon as I get out."
Then we talked about each other's plans for the next couple nights and then discussed Sunday some more, which was going to be the next time we were going to plan to see each other, and made definite plans. I was out doing some errands and got back to my phone to see five messages from him saying that his plans for the night changed and that he wants to see me tonight, if possible. I had already had plans with my girlfriends for her birthday/St. Patrick's Day drinks, but I could meet up with him when I was done, as I wasn't planning on staying out late anyways. Turned out that I'd be done too late and the hour drive would be a drag for him, but the fact that he made the effort to try to make it happen meant more than anything. So our next date will most likely be Sunday after I get home from a girls trip to Atlantic City Saturday night.

To be continued... ;)