Back to "Doin' Me"

Let's just say that from Friday evening until noon on Saturday, my perspective on how things were going with IT changed dramatically...

Long of the short (so I can move on and talk about other things): Friday night things were as great as the usually are. He was at the Knicks game with a friend, told me to text him because he likes "taking my phone out of my pocket and seeing that you're thinking of me". Before the game, he sent me a quick video clip of him singing Katy Perry & Kanye's version of "ET" - our new favorite song that we've been quoting for a week.

Saturday, he calls and we have the talk we were supposed to have next time we saw each other. Basically, he really likes me, things are so natural when we're together, but it's going so fast so quick. He's "not an asshole" and would feel like he's cheating on me when he goes on other dates and doesn't want to lie to me when he does. I think he's chicken shit to settle down so soon after getting out of the 10year relationship he ended in October. I completely understand that; I don't want him to have regrets on moving too fast or feeling like he's missed out on being single for the first time since he was in his teens. Do I think he's a coward for not going with his gut on how he feels about me? YES. But there's nothing I can do about it, and we ended it by saying we're completely done talking to each other. Honestly, I'd rather not talk to him at all than have such restrictions on not hanging out or only talking once in a while.

So, for the time being, he's doing his thing and I'm doing mine - how it was before we started talking. I noticed last night that he deactivated his PoF account. I panicked briefly, just because I don't know if that means he is, in fact, dating someone else, just decided to do the single thing for a while, or countless other ideas. But, like with any of his other actions and decisions for ending our "relationship", there's not a thing I can do. Maybe we'll catch up sometime down the road, of which a few friends have quoted saying "He will most definitely be back". If he does, great. If not, whatever. I'm a big girl. I've been hurt before, and this will definitely not be the last time, I'm sure. It's just not my time yet to meet the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with... and I'm ok with that.

So, I've embraced it and have started moving on, continuing to talk to a couple guys that I had been emailing back and forth with the last two weeks or so.

The Cop, who I mentioned on twitter last week, has the same name as IT as well as being the same height. But he works in IT's town that he teaches. Currently, he's not working, as he slipped on ice a few weeks back, and is resting until he's strong enough to get back to his job. He's coming out to see me and we are going out to sushi one night this week.

Another guy messaged me, same age and from the same area as IT (WTF!!! really? I've never talked to anyone from Staten Island and now they're coming out of the woodwork, looking for me!) and works in the city in the Financial District. Poor kid, who's just about my age, lost both parents by the time he was 15 and then his grandparents have passed over the last couple of years. He said in the chat "but im not bitter - i love families". He's an only child, has his own studio apartment, and a little dog. We haven't picked a day to go out yet, but he seems pretty genuine so far.

On another, very exciting note, in less than TWO WEEKS, I'll be in CALIFORNIA... For the first time ever, Dimps will be setting off for her first cross-country flight to visit my homegirl on the Golden Coast. I'm excited to hang out with her friends she's met out there, maybe do a little flirting, and, as per my one friend Kim mentioned, I'll most likely find my soul mate there and have to move there and never come home. Ok, so the last is probably a bit far-fetched, but, hey, a girl can dream.

(I'd like to give a few friends shoutouts for the extra special TLC they've given me this weekend: CF, KT, HJ, AM - thanks for all the advice, you guys. love you!!)